i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
