Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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