Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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