I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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