i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
