we're blogging at a bar
another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
