she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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