Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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