i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
