we have pet lesbian snakes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
