He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i've created a new STD.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
