also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
