RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
