my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
PANTIES FOUND
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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