Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

(1-334): View more from Alabama

so you're single again?

(334): View more from Alabama

yea but it was worth it

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(319): View more from Iowa

On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

(316): View more from Kansas

Toaster

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I thought it sounded fun

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.

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