Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
