Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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