Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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