I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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