If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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