Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize