I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
