In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
