Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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