I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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