I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
