So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
