Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
