alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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