Someone shit on the floor
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
