I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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