Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
