the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
where am i from again
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
