I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
