she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
