I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
