He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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