Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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