Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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