There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
