He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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