Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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