How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
