I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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