I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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