She's JV to your varsity
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
