I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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