Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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