i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she peed on how many people?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
