You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
