Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His nipple licking is glorious
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